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Occult Humor This is humor that has found its way to Chaos Matrix over the years. Most of it is occult-related, though particularly good "garden variety" humor is mixed in as well. If you come across any good pagan or magickal humor that isn't here, consider sending it in for inclusion. 22 Aphorisms, Inspired insight and words of wisdom Allergic to Bullets, Attitude determines everything Antigravity, the Feline Butterology Theory (and rebuttal), Felines, Buttered Toast, and the BFAD (Buttered Feline Antigravity Device) Astral Advertising: A Modern Occult Menace?, Has astral advertising gone too far? Automated Psychiatric Hotline, The automated telephone system for a psychiatric center The Bill of No Rights, A look at what right American's *aren't* guaranteed Bumper Stickers, A collection of bumper sticker sayings Butt Prints in the Sand, "One night I had a wondrous dream..." Cajegne Tajeed, A Ouranian Barbaric christmas carol to the tune of "Silent Night" A Cal-Poly Engineer's Anti-Santa Proof, Santa meets Physics A Cat Diary, "DAY 752--My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects..." Chaos Bells, "Jingle Bells" for the chaotically-minded Christian Olympics 1: Foreskin Collecting, The Christian Olympics Christian Olympics 2: Heathen Converting, The Christian Olympics Christian Olympics 3: Casting out Demons/Faith Healing, The Christian Olympics Christian Olympics 4: Moving Mountains, The Christian Olympics Christian Olympics 5: Raising the Dead, The Christian Olympics Christian Olympics 6: Walking on Water, The Christian Olympics Christian Olympics 7: Snake Juggling, The Christian Olympics Christian Olympics 8: Lion Taming, The Christian Olympics Christian Olympics 9: Poison Drinking, The Christian Olympics Christian Olympics 10: Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego contest, The Christian Olympics Christan, Wiccan, and Sorceror joke, "A Christian, a Wiccan, and a Sorceror were taking a whizz in a public restroom..." Circle Etiquette, Good rules to remember at any magickal gathering Comic Prayer, Seeing humor in everything Cosmic Poker, Order, Chaos, Good, Evil, and Truth enjoying a game of power Crowley, A humorous little song about Crowley Cthulhu Look and Feel Suit, The Elder Attorneys file suit against Microsoft Cthulhu for Morons, An ad for the latest cthulhu book Cthulhu Rap, A wonderfully hilarious rap about Cthulhu Cthulhu Song, To the tune of "Camptown Races" Dark Conspiracy Involving Electrical Power Companies Surfaces, Lightbulbs are actually darksuckers Evil Monopoly, A board game for evil occultists Equations of Love, Love, Law, Possession, and Will equations Goddess Phone, Why satanists win the lottery God's genesis.log, Unix humor Gothic Rhapsody, New lyrics for an old classic Grand Manifesto of the Fake Order of Templars Oriental (FOTO), OTO humor A Guide to the Battle at the End of the World, Bizarre and sometimes humorous writings The Hacker's Tarot, Anyone want to draw it? Heretic's Christmas Carol, God rest ye merry pagan folk… Hermetic Barbie, A brand new toy How to Become a Witch in Nine Easy Lessons, Now you, too, can learn to become a genuine, bona fide witch! Humorous Computer Viruses, Viruses to watch out for The Illuminati FAQ, Fifty facts about the Illuminati Ineffective Daily Affirmations, Not that far off from the real ones Is Hell Exothermic or Endothermic?, A logical proof Knowledge, Power, Time, Work, and Money Equations, Simple algebra applied to time-tested sayings with shocking results Lady Pixie Moondrip's Guide to Craft Names, Why most pagan names seem to be the same The Lesser Banishing Ritual of Thee Mother-in-law, Ceremonial magick humor Liber Call Me AL: The Book of the In-Laws, A parody of the "Liber AL: Book of the Law" Magickal Anagrams, Funny anagrams for common magickal words and phrases man pshift, Unix humor Meatnork: A Definition, Now you needn't wonder More Than 666, Other Numbers of the Beast An Ode to Kali, A rather long little song One-liners, Puns---the lowest form of humor A Pledge of Non-Disinterest, Based on the Pledge of Allegience Ravehide, Sung to the tune of "Rawhide" Signs that you might be a Technopagan, 54 signs and counting... Tarot Song, A humorous little song Ten Ways to Piss Off a Wiccan, Try them out for yourself Thelema TV, "Welcome to Thelema TV. All New-Aeon, All the Time!" Thelemic Anagrams, Anagrams for "Love is the Law, Love under Will" A Thelemic Language Lesson, What thelemites say, and what they mean There Ain't No Necronomicon!, A song about the non-existence of the dreaded tome Tips for Evil Cult Members, This information could save your life The Top 100 Things I'd Do If I Ever Became An Evil Overlord, A list any potential villain should be aware of The Top Ten Dangers of Studying Magick, A top 10 list Things overheard at God's Tech Support, Things you might hear in God's tech support department Things You Don't Want to Hear a Chaos Magician Say, But you've probably heard them anyway The Ultimate Rejection Letter, I regret to inform you… A Viking Christmassacre Carol, "Here we go a-plundering, in England oh so green…" Which Condom Would You Use?, If other business slogans were used for condoms… Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road: Experts Answer, Experts attempt to answer the most elusive question in existence Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road (neopagan style), Traditions and Famous Occultists answer Why I am a Biologist, Why be a biologist? A Wizard's Staff Has A Knob On The End, Discworld-inspired magician's humor [0]