An Ode to Kali

Author Unknown

HINDU

There are some that call it folly       We will go to worship Kali
When we worship Mother Kali.            Though embracing her is folly
She may not be very jolly               She'd be quite an armful, golly!
But she's good enough for me!           And she's good enough for me!

As the goddess Kali dances              I will wait till four-armed Kali
With her worshippers in trances         Drags me thru that lonesome valley
You can learn some Hindu stances        She's disgusting act-u-all-y
And that's good enough for me!          But She's good enough for me!

So you want's to be a Deva              We will sacrifice to Shiva
A real Bodhisavatta                     We will sacrifice to Shiva
A -really- Old Believe-a                If you are a True Believe-a
And that's good enough for me!          Then you're good enough for me!

Just like Swami Sachenanda              We will worship Jargonatha
Just like Swami Sachenanda              But altho we risk his wrath-a
Hold your breath and throw a tantra     There won't none stand in his path-a
And you're good enough for me!          And that's good enough for me!

We'll all study the Vedanta             We will all practice Tantra
We'll all study the Vedanta             Groans and grunts will be our mantra
It's no good for sharks and mantas      There is nothing that you can't-ra
But it's good enough for me!            So it's sex enough for me!

We will go and worship Brahma           We will sacrifice to Kali
Like a Saddhu or a Llama                Tho her Thugs don't act too pally
Clad in less than a pyjama              When you meet them in an alley
And that's good enough for me!          She's still good enough for me!

We will read the Kama Sutra             If you want to worship Shiva
The positions are quite "outre"         Throw some flower in the river
But as long as you're not "neutre"      But if Shiva will deliver
Then it's good enough for me!           then that's good enough for me!

You can sacrifice to Kali               We will go and worship Shiva
Even if you're no Bengali               While we're bathing in the river
Just by mugging in an alley             It's so cold it makes me shiver
And that's good enough for me!          And that's good enough for me!

We will all go worship Rama             Kali has her vengance brewin'
Who created quite a drama               Against all the evil-doin'
When he rescued his sweet mama          It was she shot J. R. Ewing!
And that's good enough for me!          And that's good enough for me!

If a damsel wears a sari                Let us take time out to dally
Krishna's arts can make her tarry       With the Priestesses of Kali
Some folks say that he's too hairy      They need petting to get pally
But he's good enough for me!            But they're good enough for me!