A Cat Diary
DAY 752 -- My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little
dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am
forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is
the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining
the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another
DAY 761 -- Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving
around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded,
must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust
and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself
to vomit on their favorite chair...must try this on their bed.
DAY 762 -- Slept all day so that I could annoy my captors with
sleep depriving, incessant pleas for food at ungodly hours of the
DAY 765 -- Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless
body, in attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of,
and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and
condescended about what a good little cat I was...Hmmm.
Not working according to plan......
DAY 768 -- I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no
good reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time however
it included a burning foamy chemical called "shampoo."
What sick minds could invent such a liquid. My only consolation
is the piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth.
DAY 771 -- There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices.
I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could
hear the noise and smell the foul odor of the glass tubes they
call "beer." More importantly, I overheard that my confinement
was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and
how to use it to my advantage....
DAY 774 -- I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and
maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more
than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The Bird, on the
other hand, has got to be an informant. He has mastered their
frightful tongue (something akin to mole speak) and speaks with
them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his
current placement in the metal room his safety is assured. But I
can wait, it is only a matter of time.