Goddess Phone

From: Xina (xina@netins.net)
Newsgroups: alt.religion.wicca, alt.pagan, alt.magick, alt.satanism, talk.religion.newage
Subject: What We Need Is a Sense of Humour!
Date: Thu, 10 Oct 1996 10:24:29 -0500

If we continue to take ourselves so seriously, we forget to see the humourous side of life, so in that vein I am sharing an exchange between a fellow Native American friend of mine (Fred is Seneca Im Tsalagi).

"What these New Agers and Wiccans and Pagans *dont* get is that when you spin in a circle and ask Spirit or the Goddess for whatever, Spirit has got a sense of humour. Its going to give you WHATEVER and let you deal with that!"
- Fred Hutchinson, Seneca Holy Man

Fred and I had this whole exchange going:

Spirit: Goddess' phone, Spirit of the Goddess Speaking...

Newager: Um Hi! I just did a Ritual last night, but well, my car fell apart and my boss fired me and I just got audited by the IRS. Im sure thats not what I asked for in Ritual Last night! You wanna explain all this!?

Spirit: Well, you asked for "Whatever Spirit wanted for my growth and potential." Well, I decided to give you some growth potential.

Newager: Well, couldnt you have rather given me the magick lotto numbers! I mean this isnt exactly comfortable!

Spirit: Hmmmmm lottery....OH wait here it is!! Yeah we gave the 25 Million to the Satanist this month! A really cool guy! He even said' thanks! Well, To "Satan"or "Set" but hey, its all the same universe! Now thats what I call naming it and claiming it!!

Newager: WHAT!!?! How could you !? A SATANIST!?! They are evil people!! I mean like they are against everything "good"! Spirit, thats not fair!! *whine*

Spritit: Hey this guy was very specific in his ritual. He asked to get the lottery numbers right, he followed his instincts on the numbers and went out and actually *bought* the ticket, I mean he DID participate and follow the rules. Besides, he has a life and a family too, you think you whitelight guys are the only ones who have lives?! Sheesh!! You didnt even bother to go out and buy a ticket! IF you had you would have split the prize money with him! See what happens when you dont participate!?

Newager: I dont get it!

Sprit: Yah! No kidding!!!! *laugh*

Newager: I mean I follow every rule of the 'enlightened' and fulfilled people before me in order to be abundant and do it 'right' and You keep throwing this stuff in my way! And now some Satanist wins what I affirmed should have been mine! This is so confusing!!!

Spirit: Whats so confusing: You a No buy da ticket, you a no picka up a da lottery! You savvy!?!

Newager: Well thanks for nothing!!

Spirit: but you got your potential for your growth!!! Come on!!