Grid outlay secured. This is mission control group alpha. Prepare to energize... now. Damn, his trousers are gone again. Get little Alfie on the horn, tell him to get down here. Somebody get a hose on him, quick... okay, the trousers are back. Everybody okay?
Um, alpha, this is the inseam patrol commander. We're getting some funny readings here. Can you confirm for us the composition of the trousers? Mm-hmm... uh, negative on the cotton. We're reading polyester in five different colors... oh, shit, the fashion meter's flatlining... mission control group alpha, we have a plaid alert in sector three! Repeat, a plaid alert in sector three!
Commander, we've got to do something. There are plaid alerts coming in all over the grid, and long range sensors have detected vinyl incoming. Sickbay reports injured sensibilities on deck six. Little Alfie has been hit, sir. He's got a wounded pride. They think he's not going to make it.
Wait... reinforcements coming in... we have enough power on the grid now, I think. Wait for it... energize! Report!
We didn't have enough power to do anything about the plaid, sir, but we've managed to produce a kilt. Vinyl readings now returning to normal. Let's go home, people, and we can let group beta worry about the trews. Oh, and tell central command that my recommendation is that we install a caber as well.