Fetch me my chalice of bitter ointments, O fractious coolie, for I am become debit, destroyer of credit. I will encircle you with my pejorative emulsifying agents; your prison shall be your freedom. My name will be remembered forever.
Waft me forward to Paradise on the waving cilia of delight! Spread out the living carpet of feverish desires, and rejoice. You are not alone, but you are also not wanted. I give you the sacrament of the itch, and I will take you into my counsels, and a dominion will be set aside for you, that you will rule with my blessing. It shall never be shaken from its foundation until the last day, when I will crush those who have praised me and flatter those who have despised me. The keys shall be given to those who had previously only owned stunt tortoises.
Remove the rhododendra and all their foul kin from the windows of my temple, and shut them up in a bin. They are the enemy. All that is green must be vanquished. For I am the Gombril Shamir. The plants know me. They know my mission. And they will stop at nothing.
When the earth is blasted from her foundations, there will I be; when the chocolate bunny scowls, there will I be. Go now, and do my will among the goober people, and your name will be remembered forever, except for occasional holidays.