So, Charlie, that thing kicks up quite a dust cloud. You say you bought this at a yard sale? Only fifty cents? Looks like it would eat a lot. Oh, it did? I'm sorry to hear that; I really liked her. Well, there's always that dangerous breaking-in period when you make a find, you know, when you're not sure whether it's going to get your car in an accident, or summon demons, or turn tofu into salamanders, or, um, eat your wife.
Well, it's mighty festive, anyway. Maybe we could string some, uh, what's that stuff called? Bunting? I don't know, but you know the stuff I'm talking about, the astral cord kind of stuff with the little knobs on it. Maybe we could string some of that on its horns and if we could teach it to hold still and stop trying to have sex with the tree stump we might be able to use it as a kind of shed thing. Does it have pockets?
Oh. Yeah, I guess you do leave yourself open to lawsuits by leaving it around. Why'd you get it if you knew you wouldn't be able to get it into the house? No, I used the last of the magic shrinking lotion on the cat's boils. Sorry. I should have said.
Maybe we could go out in the forest this weekend, set up a few traps, and see if we can't rustle you up a new wife. Okay, see you then. And, hey, chain that thing up, don't let it poop all over my yard.