The Diaminas Story: Becoming a God
Date: Wed, 1 Dec 1999 10:26:31 -0600 (CST)
From: Fenwick Rysen
Subject: Re: Becoming a Servitor
lo eskis i ca e
On Wed, 1 Dec 1999 firstname.lastname@example.org wrote:
> Re: Becoming a servitor
> Interesting. A possible path to Godhood.
This has been tried.
At least three people died, one of whom was a great friend of mine.
Please let this idea go. The price you pay isn't worth it.
t'xhanta ca des za doijha cidiy, Alyse. We'll miss you.
In Life, Love, but not quite so much Laughter
Date: Wed, 1 Dec 1999 16:55:25 -0600 (CST)
From: Fenwick Rysen
Subject: Re: Becoming a Servitor
lo eskis i
On Wed, 1 Dec 1999, Nixzilch Jahfreak wrote:
> Okay, but how far is letting go? I mean, magickal enhancement is cool but I
> wasn't planning on going full blown Godhead. Is it the viral duplication
> thing thats dangerous or what? Any information you can hand over would be
> beneficial in knowing what to avoid. I am sorry about your Alchemist-minded
> friend but lets not let the persons death be meaningless. What did your
> friend do that brought on the dangerous results. This would probably be of
> interest to the entire zee-list I would think.
Okay, this is one of the few things in my experience that I don't talk
about, but I suppose the information will do more good in the open than it
has in the closet. I'll probably sound crazy relating this story, and I'm
glossing over most of the details for the sake of brevity (the real story
would fill a book). I'm not sure how much of this will help you, and my
warning honestly was a reaction to the "wouldn't it be need to become a
god?" meme rather than any other meme that's appeared in your posts. I
hadn't been following the thread, so my response may have been premature.
In any case...
I first became aware of a person attempting to turn himself into a godform
several years ago when a person named Mark Weaver contacted me about a
situation he'd gotten himself into. Without boring you with all the
details, Mark had become aware of a small cultish group operating in the
Forestville/Guerneville area, approximately 60 miles north of San
Francisco, and about 30 miles from my home at the time in Santa Rosa. The
founder fo the cultish group had come up with an idea that ran something
Now all this seemed rather nuts to me when I first heard it. It sounded
like the guy was convinced that followers of a religion were what gave a
god it's power, and that by expanding his religious base, (assuming he
could successfully "bind" himself to this spirit) he'd become a god. I
later found out that the guy genuinely *was* nuts (time in a mental
institution and everything). But the guy was a genuinely powerful magician
(part of what drove him nuts) and his theory made a certain amount of
- Create a spirit whose sole purpose is to act as a vessel for a
human mind/soul after that person dies.
- Create a religious group to worship this spirit, with prophetic
portions of the religion that tell of the day this spirit will
join with the leader of the religion and the two will grow in power
- Ensure that the leaders of the religion after this stage will
continue to worship this new spirit and give it power.
- In a special ritual, kill yourself and bind your own mind/soul
with the spirit you've created.
- Enjoy the ride up the power-chain as you use the spirit as a
vessel to attain godhood. As the religion spreads, more people
worship you and you will grow in strength.
Picture creating a servitor whose purpose is to house a human spirit.
Create a worshipper base to give it power, carrying it upwards to egregore
status, and later to godform status. This isn't unlike the progress that
I've watched Fotamecus take over the last few years from sigil, to a
servitor under my control, to an egregore worshipped (used) by hundreds of
highly trained magicians daily, to something close to a godform capable of
tackling Chronos come the new millenium. If you could somehow bind
yourself to that progression (and that's a mighty big if), you could, in
theory, become some sort of a godform.
In any case, since the guy was nuts, he was convinced that in order for
this spirit to be able to house a human spirit, a human spirit needed to
form its basis. That resulted in one of the cult members volunteering for
the "honor" of killing herself during the ritual creation of the servitor.
(Told you the guy was nuts). He took on the name Diaminas, which was also
the name he'd given the servitor, and the name the woman took before she
was killed (the guy was a bit obsessive about the power inherent in names).
Mark found out about the group about that time and figured he was the
person to stop the madness (he was about 17---not quite using his brains in
my opinion). He tried to report them to the police, but they weren't
interested because there was no evidence of any crime (to this day we don't
know what happened to that body).
Due to several various spiritual experiences he had (most of them related
to me through a mutual friend, Kira Kristoferson, whom I believe is
actually lurking here on the zee-list) he came to the conclusion that it
was of the utmost importance that he stop the guy from succeeding. I know
that sounds lame, but there's about a year in here where some really
strange shit went down, and even I have to agree that it looked like Mark's
and Diaminas's karmas/paths/fates/whatever were somehow intertwined.
Blah blah blah, lots of time passed, Mark met a person named Alyse Winters
and the two of them decided they were soulmates or something. She agreed
to help Mark any way she could. More time passed.
Alyse managed to get herself "recruited" into the cult over that time to
get an insider view of what was going on. Once again, I think this was
plain stupid, and proof that neither Mark nor Alyse had their heads
screwed on straight.
To make a long story short, Diaminas/the guy/whatever you want to call him,
ended up expanding his little religious cult to a following of about a
hundred. As the time for the guy's ritual sacrafice and binding to the
spirit grew closer, the cult got really paranoid and Alyse was found out.
She was murdered, and Mark, abandoned his plans for a magickal working to
counter Diaminas, and paid a surprise visit to the compound with a handgun
and his ritual sword.
Luckily no one got hurt, but Diaminas successfully carried out his ritual
and killed himself in his attempt to bind himself with the spirit.
Everything I know after this point is secondhand or worse through Mark and
Kira, and it gets really foggy and confused.
Apparently the ritual succeeded, and Diaminas had several successful
communications with the high priest of the cult. But it was obvious
something wasn't right, and his personality twisted. What I've pieced
together is that somehow the spirit and the guy were incompatible. The
fact that the woman had been sacraficed to create the spirit probably has
something to do with it, but I've given up trying to figure out how or why.
After somet time the communications to the higher-ups in the cult were
requests and pleas that he be allowed to die. Mark also communicated with
Diaminas, and eventually Mark did several workings to locate, summon, and
To this day, Alyse's spirit has been reported to haunt the grove of woods
where she first met Mark. Kira caretakes the land now, and she and Mark
erected a memorial for her in the grove that she reportedly haunts.
The spirit of the girl killed to create the spirit has been reported to
haunt the location where she was killed (a series of tunnels that take
Santa Rosa Creek underground through part of the city), and I've actually
seen her and talked with her. She's kind and nice, but the experience has
been rather frightening on both occasions---she kills batteries in
flashlights, and when your several hundred feet into those tunnels, there's
no light left other than what you bring. I normally don't mind the dark,
but when you're left with a flashlight that barely works, and you're
talking to a spirit whose presence fills the darkness there.....
Mark spent a while recuperrating at Kira's. Last I heard he was still
racked with guilt over Alyse's death, and he regularly just takes off for
destinations unknown, showing back up at Kira's about once every year or
so. Sometimes he's in good shape, other times he looks like he's been
through hell and back.
The cult pretty much fell apart in the aftermath. Police investigations
can do that to a small religion. The core members stuck together, and last
I heard they've set up a New-Agey temple in the Sebastopol area. They
refer to the godhead/spirit/creator as Diaminas, though the context has
Throughout the whole thing I got to talk to a lot of people about the idea
of becoming a godform. The experiences I witnessed first- and second-hand
soured me to anyone suggesting the possibility of turning themselves into
some sort of godform. Alyse was a very dear friend of mine and she is
greatly missed. The endeavour not only failed, it also destroyed many
lives---Mark says he's happy now, but all of his friends still think he's a
broken shell of who he once was.
I also ended up talking to a lot of other powerful magicians around the
world about the prospect of becoming a godform. Many of them provided many
interesting theories about how it could be done. I was also very surprised
when a small but powerful minority all had the same reaction to my inquiry:
They said they'd witnessed a similar attempt to what I was explaining, and
they gave dire warnings against attempting any form of godhood. I became
privy to many other stories of attempted godhood, and not a one ended in
success. Alchemists poisoned by their own experiments, goetic mages found
dead of a heart attack in a broken circle, a mass cult suicide, and more.
There was only one possible success story, but that was iffy.
Inevitably, the attempt for godhood killed the individual attempting it.
There's so much more I'm glossing over...
Folks, there's a reason I've avoided talking about this, and it's because
as I read back through this, my words sound like the rantings of a madman.
Just remember, you asked... Maybe someday I'll write down the whole story
and try to make more sense of it all. Kira jokes that I'd have to publish
it as fiction because nobody would ever take it at face value.
"Truth is stranger than fiction, because fiction has to make sense."
In Life, Love, and Laughter
___ --Fenwick Rysen http://www.chaosmatrix.com
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| ___ | "The only prevalent characteristic of chaotes is their
/ ability to confuse you beyond all hope of rescue."
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