Nothing Rant

From: Thomas Crean
Subject: Nothing (fwd)
Date: Thu, 2 Jul 1998 11:28:38 -0400 (Eastern Daylight Time)

This was an old ranting to a friend of my own, I figured you'll may find it entertaining. ;) (pardon the drama)

I am nothing, I profess nothing, I hold claims to nothing, I worship the almighty nothing that was existent prior (ha) to creation. To hold in detest one must care. I only see the by products of ignorance and deception on self. Self is nothing. The concept of a spiritual is alienated from personal experience. A teacher may be considered a fellow student. I hold no particular religion itself in comtempt or even give a rats ass for that matter, the only thing I do not like is the perpetual reality war that has been waged for aeons. With the coming of this pandaemonic epoch, my mantle has been taken up. I hold claims to no-thing sacred as I have deemed. I do not know more than you because I hold claim to everything, and I do not hold myself in judgment unless it is by my own hand. The concept of jusgment which I hear bellowed to and fro it a result of the inflated ego concept which I have talked of previously. Continual claims of universal truth in whatever form to enact a judgment of ones desire. Desire has no limits other than desires need: Grendels Law, it would be good to consider. I profess to hold no convictions, the only apparent sarcasm and guru-like qualities visible are just the ravings (yes I rave too) of a person on the brink of maddness...again. It happens all the time mind you, words can only do so much. I talk to those who will hear for no apparent purpose. I desire nothing from others other than desires needs. If this all appears as apparent paradox then it probably is. Paradox is used to transcend linear thinking (which has a time and a place by the way). I enjoyed this phrase I heard once somewhere from a game I think, "truth until paradox". Claims at correct ways are bombastic concatations of a weak ego. I am not correct; I am lying. You would do well to eat someone elses vomit which would make one feel safe and secure. All is self. All is nothing. Not rational mind you. The well spring of chaos from which our being manifests is deemed maddness by the mind. The ego will be dissolved in it's craziness, so it would do anything to presevere. I am a hypocrite even unto myself. We all can learn from one another, I am not a teacher, but a fellow learner in this ever damnable scheme. I am not judgedment or salvation or damnation. I do nothing unless it is in my desire (most of the time that is). If you find your ego making comments in this regards, questions which are only more attempts at it initializing itself, then kill yourself now.... or later it does not matter in the end. I write this not to You, but to you which is a mirror of your schizophrenic whole. Do not respond unless it is with truth. I assure you, to know truth, to see it and let it devour you. You must wallow in its insane paradox. The cosmic joke, the raven and coyote, Loki and the jester. Your existence is one of continual and perpetual maddness. The magician, the sorceror, the witch attempts to dive into this to possibly gain a foothold again the cosmic chaos. This is lunacy in and of itself but in the end (hehe) it is as good as anything else -- some ways are quicker than others. Self must be annihilated to experience the bliss of being, the wonders and joys of oblivion are temporary (at least I have found while concresent), it is this which we want. It is this which we seek in everything. Sex, this dissolving of self in another does not even have to be with another. We seek consumption, consumption to incorporate it's being into what appears to be our own. Attraction is the smell of cooking in the kitchen. Luring us to seek completion from our state of separation. One can think of this cabalistically, the formulation of Kether from nothing. The demi-urge realising itself for a fraction of a second, which was enough to cause all of creation; a spontaneous manifestation out of the higgs field -- quantum soups mixed with ideas and parables. The greatest of teachers were not teachers, but dwellers on the void. Glimpses at the futility of being and seeing the need/ nay the desire to maintain the order. To preserve from the eventual return to the maddness of Azathoth -- the nuclear chaos. Do not try to understand this, if you do not already. The experience is not for rationality. But know that we am no teacher, know that we will cause utter havoc on your concept of self, know that in this we hold the utmost love for you and for all so that restrictions may be forgiven. Behind the craziness is love, behind the chaos order (maintained by the pact hehe). This is for all because you are nothing, that which is most sacred, calling and beconing from the probabilistic future and past. A timewave invokation if you will, mentioned via this internet transmission. Do Not Question Me on This Maddness Unless It is With Truth. You Shall Know Truth By It's Paradox.. We have said again and again. Go read, go fuck, Rave and take drugs, do as the beast did, do and convey. The magick is all a language between worlds. The number significances, the beauty of mathematics, the bliss in possession, the rantings on philosophical-pseudomagickal somthings or other, Babylon, Hecate, it is us and not us. This is the mystery of being. I laugh at myself for saying it. Laughter is a defense against the cosmic conundrum, against the maddness, You Will Laugh or Be laughed at. It is laughter that is a glimpse at bliss. Study butterflies and their process, study the skies and their significance, all is and was for her. The ever-elusive instantanoeus present -- math can capture a snapshot of this by the way. I tire now, which is inevitable, seek your desire and be damned...