My old Adept used to say to me "Laddie, there ain't nothing you can't do if you put your mind to it." So off we went in full Golden Dawn regalia to hold back the tide at Bournemouth seafront. After that he had me doing sigils to make Harold Macmillan's hair stand on end. He gave his life to magick, he said, after meeting Crowley in a Turkish Bath, but he had boundless enthusiasm which was infective. You felt you could do it, no matter how silly or nonsensical it was. He was fond of saying "if the kingdom of heaven is within you, why spend more than £10 on occult books?" Here are some of the things he had me doing:

Everything we know boils down to supposition in the end, so reverse all statements, or put "nots" into assertions, and leap before you look. Wake up one day and attempt to banish your everyday reality - everything becomes new, unfamiliar and totally baffling. Objects become intense and frightening.

Be Wrong. We spend a lot of time striving for 'Right' answers, right beliefs, doing it right. Doing it right = confidence = success. Bo-ring! Be Wrong!

Gods and Gurus. Possession by a God or Spirit allows you to do things you would not ordinarily do. A guru gives proof that you can walk a tightrope without falling off, that you can play in the deep end of the swimming pool without drowning. Insanity seems to be an occupational hazard of magicians. Better be mad now and save time later. Harpo Marx was the greatest Hollywood shaman. Could you blow up a rubber glove and then milk it?

Sanity is 'out there' rather than in your head, since most people seem to see themselves as crazier than everyone else. If we voice too many mad thoughts, we get locked up. I recall a woman in the local asylum who thought she was a bird in a cage - she'd learnt to keep quiet about this as telling people only got her extra medication and ECT. Being safe is being sane - not expressing your mad thoughts. Magick can be about letting your mad thoughts out to stalk the streets in gangs.

Magick is a street thing. Magicians must be seen and heard. Crowley's trickster persona exemplified this, following in the zig-zag path of Cagliostro, Simon Magus and innumerable Shamans and Witches world-wide. A good magician plays to his audience, be it a tribal shaman doing Ifa or a street-corner sorceror making anti-cop talismans out of tin can lids. Learn to juggle, dance, play Irish Stand-down; these are the true siddhis. If you're really going to become a jumped-up little megalomaniac you might as well get a few laughs while you're about it. Pass the Top Hat.