The Rite of Televangelical Gnosis

Statement of Intent:
It is our/my will to utilize the "magical","techno-shamanic" and "hypnotic" powers of the TV Evangelist to attain gnosis and transmit our sigilized desire/s.

Turn on PTL or other appropriate televangelical networks. A televangelical video tape is a handy item for readily sharing this ritual with others.

Observe the "live" audience and their many different methods of attaining Gnosis:

1. Ecstatic dance, frenetic movement, seething, writhing etc.
2. Singing, praying, speaking in tongues/glossolalia, interpretation, prophecy, sexual arousal from close proximity to others in a revivalist frenzy.
3. Total faith in the ability of the televangelist to deliver a personal petition to the Almighty Hirself: (miraculous healings, divination, discernment of spirits etc.)
4. Fear and Guilt Gnosis: Fear of Hell, Fear of being "left out" of Heaven, Snake Handling, Babtism in icy waters, etc.
5. Stigmata, mass quasi-consensual hallucinations, etc.

In this rite, we attempt to utilize these fundamentalist dynamics to temporarily suspend our disbelief, and direct our will without lust for results, into the virtual certainty of the Televangelists ability to transmit the sigil directly into the vortex of the "Holy Spirit".

Rite of Televangelical Gnosis:

1. Create sigilized monogram of desire.
2. Turn on PTL (Opening)
3. Declaration of S.O.I.
4. Place sigil on opaque paper over TV screen, allowing for at least partial viewing of the program.
5. Attain gnosis (using any combination of the methods mentioned above) but consider the possibility of gnosis attained through total self disgust and humiliation for allowing yourself to be watching the Xtian spectacle of disgust.
6. Become disgusted with the complete tackiness and total lack of dignity and self respect that Xtians invariably suffer from. (highly recommended)
7. Become sexually aroused at the thought of this absurdity. (at this time "Phone Sex" with the online televangelical operators is recommended as an additional link, but is not entirely necessary). Otherwise this may be an appropriate opportunity for an auto-erotic pathworking involving such fantasies as:
   • Imagine having sex with the lady with the big purple hair and ultra-long fake eyelashes.
   • Imagine having sex with Jimmy Baker/Swaggart-types with sweaty palms and booze on their breath.
   • Any kinky combination of the above. (use your imagination)
8. As the preacher requests/demands the "Love Seed", or "Gift of Love", "Love Sacrifice" ($$$), etc., Attain Vacuity (by whatever means available) and annoint the sigil and the TV screen with your sexual/bodily fluids. Just wait for the inevitable: "Right Now", "Right Now"! (The Televangelist will chant this with a Deep Southern Accent). The act of annointing the sigil and television may be the result of a direct climax, focused on the screen. Visualize/focus on your uttermost contempt for Xtianity as you immerse the screen in bodily fluids. Keep in mind the "Preatures" advice involving large "Love Seeds" for large desires. (aside from the direct linkage to the ritual itself, this "offering" serves to cirCUMvent the "spirit" of the Xtian paradigm).
9. Banish using TV remote controller as "wand" - and change stations while giggling hysterically.

"All prayer dissapates without an intermediary or carrier. Gods, soul and the psycho-substantive seem to respond only through the mind by in-direction and hetero-suggestion: this is the secret way through many barriers."

by Jihad (AutonomatriX)

Any comments or critisism may be dealt with accordingly.

(To be freely disseminated.)